Please don't tell anyone, but I feel for Ben Barba and Canterbury Bulldogs supporters.
Rusted-on fans like ''us'' aren't meant to give ''them'' an inch.
Yet here I am, a much-hated, five-decade Manly Sea Eagles fan, expressing sympathy for a club that stole our dual premiership coach, Des Hasler.
I know I'll regret it, but the Bulldogs deserve full credit for giving Barba the chance to sort out his alcohol, gambling and relationship problems.
The club is rewarding Barba's loyalty with loyalty. So may he recover well and return after the Bulldogs' clash with the Sea Eagles on June 14.
In the meantime, the official NRL season launch will proceed on Wednesday night without poster boy Barba, just as it did without Manly's Brett Stewart in 2009. He faced allegations of sexual assault but was cleared later.
Like all league fans, I'm keen for the season to start. Sadly I will need to examine the new team list first to see how the club loyalty meter is running. It's been pretty low of late.
A quick check shows Manly have 14 new players. I recognise only 20 of the 36-strong squad for 2013.
And wait; one of the new Manly players comes from the rotten Melbourne Storm.
So who exactly are the ''us'' and who are ''them'' nowadays?
As players move, betting ads dominate, suburban grounds run down, home games are moved to suit TV and the focus is on individuals; there's too little respect for traditions like hating the Bulldogs.
The Bulldogs? Most evil team in history … except for the Storm … and Brisbane Broncos. Those Sydney Roosters aren't much chop either.
You'd expect that from a Manly fan. You hate us. Everyone does.
A bit like Collingwood in AFL - except the Pies have used it to their advantage in great membership-bolstering ads based on: ''It's us versus them''. All we have at the Sea Eagles is: ''Earn your wings''.
Funny, I thought we'd already earned them by tolerating anti-Manly jokes and John Hopoate. Besides the finger-insert incident, I saw Hoppa from 20 metres away as he raced across Brookvale Oval in 2005. Sensing what was coming, I shielded my children's eyes just before he king hit Cronulla's Keith Galloway. Manly players clapped. I am sickened to this day.
Did I write Manly off? For a while, although diehards forgive. We've buried enough fathers in their Manly beanie, named the 1972 team enough, pretended we liked Rex Mossop and watched as the Storm's Michael Crocker took out Stewart in the tragic 2007 decider.
But diehards and casual fans alike find it hard to accept so many player transfers. Sometimes all you know are club colours, if the jersey hasn't been redesigned that weekend.
No wonder more people today follow footy for the betting.
This blight isn't just in league.
Israel Folau? A good player entitled to maximise earnings, sure, but is he from Fiji, Melbourne, Brisbane or the AFL? Who does he play for again?
No matter, he's with the Waratahs Super Rugby ''franchise'' now.
That word pops up a lot. A business franchise needs a core brand with customer loyalty strong enough to spread. The key to retaining loyalty is keeping the same product - the taste, the packaging, the process, the vibe.
When you keep changing the product in league - the players, the jerseys, the home ground, the betting options, the traditions - you threaten team loyalty.
Psychological research suggests the further a team is removed from its tribal core - be that geographic, family, social or historical - the fewer self-esteem benefits for supporters.
Stripped of tribalism, the game becomes more individual. You see it in sports betting and in fantasy football, which research shows prioritises individuals and breaks down team loyalty in the real world.
As tribalism withers in league, the pressure on stars becomes immense. Some like Barba cannot handle it.
If league is to avoid the celebrity-player syndrome and be more than a billboard for advertising, it needs to replenish community links. This means improving local grounds, committing to home games and rewarding loyal fans. A limit on player transfers, TV-scheduling power and in-game betting would restore a bit of the ''us and them'' as well.
astokes@fairfaxmedia.com.au
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