Senator Sarah Hanson-Young was - as expected - one to vent her outrage at Scott Morrison's comments. Photo: Andrew Meares
The Festival of Dubious Decisions is an ad hoc affair. It's not tied to any particular date, season or location. And it pops up with far too much regularity for anyone to dare call it an "annual event". So perhaps that's why no one rushed to buy a program or a souvenir T-shirt this week, when yet another FDD was held.
In Los Angeles, a prominent actress decided at the last minute that instead of the gown she had organised to wear to a world-famous awards night, she would swap it for one that did something really strange to her nipple region.
In Adelaide, a "newly dating" couple was attempting to wow the judges in a television cooking competition. But instead of concentrating on the kitchen, Stefano decided that NOW was the time to propose to Lisa. She said yes (hooray!) and they went on to get kicked off the show amid the distraction.
Then, in Melbourne, a senior opposition spokesman gathered the media together in the Treasury Gardens. "After having illegally entered Australia by boat," an asylum seeker on a bridging visa had been charged with the indecent assault of a university student. But instead of leaving this issue to the police, the spokesman decided to politicise the alleged attack.
He said the government should freeze the bridging visa program and immediately review the whole shebang. He called for the cops and nearby neighbours to be notified when asylum seekers were housed nearby. And for the establishment of "behaviour protocols" for boat arrivals and a "complaints procedure" for residents (never mind that there is already something called "the law").
In Brisbane, the Prime Minister was asked what she thought of the big freeze. Instead of using the opportunity to point out that it was one isolated incident and asylum seekers posed no threat to society, she talked about 457 visas. "I'm glad you've raised the issue of immigration because I'd have to say … I'm very disturbed that the Coalition has said … temporary foreign labour is going to be a mainstay of their immigration policy if they are ever in government," she said.
On the university attack, the PM then commented thus: "Anybody, irrespective of their immigration status who has engaged in an act of violence against another person, should feel the full force of the law."
Elsewhere in the government, public outrage was also not so forthcoming. Newly badged Immigration Minister Brendan O'Connor did not stand up for a counter-doorstop that afternoon (as is often the case when the other side has said something full on). In the afternoon, O'Connor issued a statement accusing the Coalition of "cynically exploiting an incident which is before the courts to cause fear and unrest in the community". But not before arguing it would cost more money to keep people in detention (how will the opposition pay for it?)
As Scott Morrison's comments made their way out of the Treasury Gardens and around the country, the outrage began to flow, but it came from predictable corners: Liberal backbencher Russell Broadbent, Labor senator Doug Cameron, Greens senator Sarah Hanson-Young.
Come Thursday, O'Connor's ire on behalf of the asylum seekers picked up a bit more steam with: "to blame thousands of people because of one allegation is the lowest level of politics" - but it was still heavily skewed towards scoring a point or five against the Coalition.
Also that day, Julia Gillard described herself in an interview with ABC Radio as a "progressive" politician, who wanted to see Australia become "a fairer country".
And yet, despite multiple opportunities, her government has not unilaterally slammed the comments made by Morrison - to make it absolutely plain to people that asylum seekers are not by definition, criminals (AUSTRALIA: IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO SEEK ASYLUM). And that it is unnecessary, discriminatory and ridiculous to suggest the police need to know their whereabouts (people on bridging visas are already required to report regularly to the government). It has taken others to point out that those on bridging visas are more than 45 times less likely to commit a crime than the rest of the Australian population. And that "stranger danger" accounts for less than 1 per cent of sexual violence in the community (i.e. you are way, way more likely to be assaulted by your own partner than an unknown holder of a bridging visa).
Then again, asylum seekers don't vote. At least not in this election. But Australians who don't like the thought of "boat people" in the community sure do.
The Festival of Dubious Decisions rolls on.
Judith Ireland is a Canberra Times journalist.
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